Engagement, Roka and Sagai invitations: which is which, and messages to send
Engagement, Roka and Sagai invitation wording and WhatsApp messages in English and Hindi, ring ceremony and tilak on one day, and how much notice to give.
An engagement invitation names who is hosting, which rituals are happening (Roka, Sagai, Tilak, or all three in one afternoon) and when, so relatives know whether to bring shagun and for whom. Send it 3 to 6 weeks ahead, or 2 to 3 weeks for a small Roka, with a short WhatsApp line and the link.
On this page
Engagement is the word most families use in English, but underneath it there are three or four distinct ceremonies that happen at different points and mean different things. Getting them confused on an invitation is a common and slightly embarrassing mistake.
This page sorts out which is which, who hosts each one and how much notice to give, then gives wording for the version you are actually having, and ten WhatsApp messages in English and Hindi to send with the link.
Roka, Sagai, Mangni and Tilak
| Ceremony | What it is | Usually hosted by | When |
|---|---|---|---|
| Roka | The first formal agreement between the families. The name comes from stopping the search on both sides. Often only elders attend. | Bride's family | Anywhere from a year to a few months before |
| Sagai or Mangni | The ring ceremony. Rings are exchanged, and it is now the function most people mean by engagement. | Either family, often jointly | Weeks to months before the wedding |
| Tilak | A groom side ceremony where the bride's male relatives apply a tilak and present gifts. | Groom's family, at their home | Close to the wedding |
| Chunni Chadhana | The groom's mother or sisters drape a chunni on the bride and give her jewellery, formally accepting her. | Groom's family | Often on the same day as Roka or Sagai |
This season one family held the ring ceremony, the tilak and the barichha on the same day, for all the same guests, and sent the wedding invitation separately afterwards. When you do the same, name each ritual on the invitation with its own time, and say that the wedding invitation will follow.
What to put in the WhatsApp message
Most engagement invitations now go out on WhatsApp. The message that goes with the link should carry six things, in this order:
- Who is invitingThe parents, the family, or the couple. Elders expect to hear it from the parents.
- Whose engagementBoth names, and the families if the guest knows only one side.
- Which ritualsRoka, Sagai, the ring ceremony, the tilak, or all of them, each with its own time.
- When and whereThe date, the time and the venue, with the map on the link.
- Whether the wedding date is fixedOne short line, because it is the first thing everyone will ask.
- The linkWith every detail on it, so the message itself can stay short.
Ten messages are ready to copy at the end of this page, for a Roka, a Sagai and a ring ceremony, in English and Hindi. For the wedding itself, see wedding invitation messages for WhatsApp.
Whose name goes on the invitation
This causes more friction than it should, so it is worth being deliberate.
If the bride's family is hosting, the invitation traditionally comes from her parents and names the groom as the son of his parents. If it is a joint function, name both sets of parents, and put the host family first. If the couple is inviting people themselves, which is increasingly common, then simply say so and drop the third person formality entirely.
On whether the groom's name or the bride's comes first, both are done and it varies by community. Ask both families rather than assuming, because in some households the order is read as a statement.
How much notice to give
- Roka: often two to three weeks, sometimes less, because the guest list is small and mostly local family.
- Sagai or engagement party: three to six weeks. Guests travelling from other cities need longer.
- If it is a destination engagement: eight weeks minimum, and send a save the date well before the real invitation.
One thing worth adding to the invitation, especially for a Roka: whether the wedding date has been fixed. Half the room will ask within the first ten minutes, and putting a line on the invite saves the same conversation forty times. Two lines families use:
- 'The wedding is fixed for [month, year]. The invitation will follow.'
- 'The wedding date will be decided by the elders after the Roka.'
Once the wedding date is fixed, the save the date is the next message to send.
A digital engagement invitation
If you are sending the engagement as a link, Invifest's Morpankh is made for it: a Radha-Krishna engagement design that opens on a single peacock feather glowing in the dark, then into a kunj with Radha and Krishna and a ring going onto a mehndi-covered hand. Every ritual gets its own card, the roka, the tilak, the sagai or the ring ceremony, with the time, the venue, a map button and a reply form. It costs ₹4,500, made by hand for you, with two rounds of changes.
Engagement and wedding designs can also add the Wedding Wardrobe (₹1,199): a PDF style guide guests get with the invitation, with a page for each function showing its mood, its colours as real swatches, and what suits the women and the men. It reaches you within 3 days of sending us your functions and colours (see a sample).
Engagement wording and WhatsApp messages you can copy
Invitation wording first, then ten short messages to send with the link, for a Roka, a Sagai and a ring ceremony, in English and Hindi. Change the names, dates and places.
We said yes.
[Name] and [Name]
are getting engaged
[Day, Date] · [Time]
[Venue]
Come eat with us.
Mr and Mrs [Surname]
request the pleasure of your company
at the engagement ceremony of their daughter
[Name]
with
[Name]
son of Mr and Mrs [Surname]
[Day, Date] · [Time]
[Venue]
With the blessings of our elders, our families have come together.
Roka ceremony of
[Name] and [Name]
[Day, Date] · [Time]
[Venue]
We would love your blessings.
Do parivaron ke milan ke shubh avsar par,
[Naam] evam [Naam] ki Sagai
[Din, Tithi] · [Samay]
[Sthaan]
Aapke aashirwad ki abhilasha hai.
Some happy news: [Name]'s Roka with [Name] is on [Day, Date], at [Time], at [Venue]. Just close family, and it would mean a lot to have you there. Details: [link]
Khushkhabri! [Naam] ka rishta [Naam] ke saath pakka ho gaya hai. Roka [Din, Tithi] ko [Samay] baje [Sthaan] par hai. Aap zaroor aaiye: [link]
[Name] and [Name] are getting engaged! The Sagai is on [Day, Date] at [Time], at [Venue]. Please come and bless them. Everything is here: [link]
शुभ समाचार! [नाम] एवं [नाम] की सगाई [दिन, तिथि] को [समय] बजे [स्थान] पर है। आप सपरिवार सादर आमंत्रित हैं। पूरी जानकारी: [link]
We are doing the ring ceremony! [Day, Date], [Time] onwards at [Venue]. Food, music and a lot of photos. Details: [link]
On [Day, Date] we have the tilak at [Time] and the ring ceremony at [Time], both at [Venue], with lunch in between. Please come for both: [link]
Pranam [Naam] ji, [Naam] ki sagai [Din, Tithi] ko hai. Aapka aashirwad chahiye, aap zaroor padhariye. Saari jaankari is link par hai: [link]
[Name] and [Name]'s engagement is on [Day, Date] at [Venue]. And yes, the wedding is fixed for [Month, Year]; the invitation will follow. Details: [link]
[Name] and [Name]'s Roka is on [Day, Date]. The wedding date will be decided by the elders after the Roka, so please do not ask us yet! Details: [link]
See you tomorrow at [Venue]. The Roka starts at [Time] sharp, at the muhurat our pandit ji has set. Map: [link]
Want these words on a real invitation? See the designs.
Hindu wedding invitation designs
8 designs you can personalise. Open any one to see it full size, with a live demo.
Questions people ask
What is the difference between Roka and Sagai?
Roka is the first formal agreement between the two families, often with only elders present. Sagai is the ring ceremony and is what most people mean when they say engagement. Roka comes first, sometimes by many months.
What should I write in an engagement invitation message?
Who is inviting, both names, which rituals are happening and at what time, the date and the venue, and the link with every detail on it. Add one line on whether the wedding date is fixed, because everyone will ask.
Can the ring ceremony and tilak be on the same day?
Yes, and many families now hold them together, sometimes with the Roka as well, in one afternoon for the same guests. Name each ritual on the invitation with its own time, so relatives know what they are coming for and whether to bring shagun.
How far in advance should engagement invitations go out?
Three to six weeks for a normal engagement party, two to three weeks for a small Roka, and at least eight weeks if guests are travelling.
Who hosts the engagement, the bride's side or the groom's?
Roka is traditionally hosted by the bride's family, Tilak by the groom's. The ring ceremony is often joint today. Whoever hosts is usually named first on the invitation.
Do we need to have the wedding date fixed before the engagement?
No, and often it is not. If it is fixed, put it on the invitation, because you will otherwise be asked all evening.
Should the groom's name or the bride's come first?
Both are correct and it varies by community. Ask both families, since in some households the order is read as a statement about the match.
